My main problem is I don’t know what to do. I don’t have any tools, information. I tried escaping and that didn’t work. Meanwhile things like my job and relationships just get smashed to the side. I don’t know who the relevant parties are. It would be nice to figure this out.

I just realized what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve been treating it like a battle, when in reality it’s a war. Wars last longer. You have to think about things like energy conservation and resource expenditure. Psychological warfare. Involved. Currently.

If people misbehave in your head, that is if your internal models of people begin abusing you, what happens? Are they responsible? They are. Take care of your image! Don’t let people see you as evil, and you won’t be!

 

I have a hunch that everyone was really and still is really reluctant to help me. Even the people whose job it is–family, friends, and doctors.

I don’t have a home. I’m antsy and it won’t stop. There’s nowhere to settle, either in virtual space or reality. Beds aren’t comfortable. What torment.