Fuck I think I may given myself a stomach ache with all that habanero sauce.

About last night to today

Fell asleep promptly after second post.

Woke up, at around noon, as usual, groggy and disoriented, as usual. Refreshed within about thirty minutes of coffee and walking around the house and nicotine.

The rest of the day has proceeded normally.

Some success so far with the job hunt.


Thank you.



11 PM

Still steady symptoms of family voices and images of their aura transmuting with my surroundings. The brother seems involved somehow. I feel as if I am in danger.

Frightened but not doing anything rash.

Killing time on the internet.

Had a slice of pizza. Can’t even eat without being harassed! (I wish I could just diet into a good physique).

Episode: Jan 26, 2020

Started around 10:30 PM. Things transmuting, visually. Not hallucinating, but tricks being played in my peripheral vision. Like things are coming to life, without moving. But there is movement.

I took a 0.5 mg clonazepam and a 20 mg CBD. That usually helps.

Will continue with checkins tonight.


I’m not sure what to do now. My laptop is back up and running, on linux. I’m procrastinating on my machine learning course. I don’t really have anything else to do to distract me, though, so I just am sort of sitting around not feeling good.

I’m not sure what to do.


Thank you to new followers, Welcome!

Just wanted to make a shoutout to new followers.

Be sure to check out my poetry blog if you’re into poetry at https://burndoubt.wordpress.com/

(I’m on linux and I get a safety warning but I”m not sure why that would be, I didn’t upload any computer viruses or anything.

Oh well.


So yeah. Bit sidetracked there. Thank you, new followers!

We’re listening to some downtempo lofi hip hop (as is all the rage) and procrastinating on a machine learning course we’re supposed to be watching videos for. Welcome!

Does anyone know the best way to store boxes? Do you need boxes, in case you need to return something? Where do you store the cables that come with a phone, for example–in the box, right? And the manual etc? I’ve only ever seen two options: keep it somewhere inconvenient, or throw it away.

I don’t have that much room in my room. Lots of crap.

Help/advice is appreciated.

I’m looking for ways to add positive energy to my life. To me, that immediately means tidying up / cleaning up as much as possible. That’s the most reliable go-to. Personal hygeine is so difficult for me it’s hard to get around to that one. But cleaning things that aren’t me is not out of the question.

So I guess I’ll be flimpsing around in my room organizing things for the next bit.


My life is useless I am useless I’m never going to amount to anything I never did anything productive if you read somewhere that I did that’s a lie, I never helped anyone, and I am not a good person.

The End.