I just can’t settle down at home. Spikes. Spikes keeping me from talking.

I’m performing energy blowjobs (kind of like psychic, but energy not psychic) to my father and strangers. I have the mind of a rape victim but I was never raped. My psychiatrist doesn’t know about this. Who cares if he doesn’t. He’s useless anyway. What can he do.

I just have to live with it. The more I can’t live with it, the more I have to rely on medications. So I have to get used to it. It’s unpleasant but if I live with it, I won’t have to take this horrible medication that drains me of my life.

Image board websites are garbage.

Here’s literally what a symptom feels like. This is one of many different kinds. Many.


am not indecided, but the decision is split in  half. My intuition splits. It is half right to go one way, half right to go the other. My intuition is confused. The halfs have sharp edges and they cut me in my mind and I feel pain.


That’s a symptom. Complicated? It combines my intuition being out of my control, sensory hallucinations (tactile, pain), and visual inner eye hallucinations (seeing halves split in two).


More where that came from.

I feel force. It has a shape but I can’t tell what shape it is. I can sense its shape but I don’t know how to describe it. it has no shape. I can tell what shape it is. It is in space and my mind and my body. It is chemicals in my body. It is in space in my mind which senses space and feels spaces. that was wrong I did  it wrong I’m going to suffer I just did with a spike from the force.


I could go on.


This is what I should be telling my therapist. The one I don’t have.