Okay updating again. My brother is harassing me and maybe I have learned something. Why is psychiatry so useless. I just want to tell to my psychiatrist’s face how useless he is. Sigh.

Survived(?) a fuckton of assault and threat from all the strangers at the beach here, there were fireworks and it was a disaster. Everyone was “well-behaved” and “orderly”, meaning passive aggressive vicious Americans. And apparently Japanese, since they come here too. So cross Japan out of the ideal vacation spots. They don’t seem like good people, either. Very aggressive. They harass peaceful harmless people like me.

What have you been up to? I don’t hear a lot about you. I don’t really even know who you are. Are you on vacation too? I wish we could talk. But you’re just an Audience, and that’s not how the interaction works. I’m not allowed to say or do a lot of things, at the moment because brother the youngest is repressing me with threats of violence. So I don’t really have any freedom. I live in America. So there you go! Census done.

I hope your day is going well. Let me know how you feel tomorrow, okay?

Cheers.

varjak

I’m on vacation and my family is enemies again. The view from the room is alright but my mother doesn’t like it because you can see a garage from it. I didn’t get sunburnt yet. I can’t stand my brothers’ or mom’s voice. It hurts to hear them talk. A lot of negative force/energy being thrown at me, too. Sort of like, energy, pure energy, or psychic force.

Work has been alright so far. No horrific psychotic episodes at the company yet. If that happens, I don’t know, I guess I just have to call sick and go home. Is that a plan?

I could itemize all the problems my family has. Why they’re bad people. But for some reason I feel no need to do that.

I wish I had something to talk about. I’m on vacation and I have nothing to talk about. I wish my medication worked better.

Restless. Can’t settle down. I need interaction or stimulus. I wish I could settle down and read. Symptoms were absent for a while but they’re starting again. Spikes from the conversations of family downstairs, in my nerves. Ouch. Hahahaha. Oh well. Not oh well. Not so well. Doubtful. In any case, happenstance, and such all.

Well.

You?

No, never mind. I’m alone. I have a job again. I have a self-confidence crisis at it that only I can get myself out of.

I downloaded a music player on the phone with not shit UI like all the rest. Good. And transferred my music to my phone’s sd card for the plane flight to our vacation destination. It will be good. I don’t know what I’m saying. You’re in on it. No. No secrets. It’s out in the open. Okay fare thee well. Nothing I say sounds right.

Fucking schizoaffective disorder. -_-

We still have some errands to run today.